Thursday, October 18, 2007


Remember the good old days when they had just “church music” or “devil’s music” to choose from? Then it was “classical” and “folk tunes”. Then “classical”, “jazz” and “rock”. Then there was “bebob”, “cool jazz”, “free-jazz”, “jazz fusion”, “funk”, “disco”, “heavy metal”, “punk”, “post-punk”, “post-rock”, “death metal”, “black metal”, etc. etc. etc. It’s hard to put out an album these days without spending a week trying to classify exactly what the hell it is.

If the last few years have been any indication of what is to come in the music world, we should see new genres reproducing like rabbits by 2010. In section below, I play the role of the music blogger Nostradamus and predict the musical crossovers that are coming up on the horizon.

Post-Post Rock
Step one—turn on the drum machine to 3 bpm. Step two: lean guitar against amplifier to produce sustained feedback note. Step three: hit record; take two hour lunch break. Step four: Come back to studio, hit “stop” button, burn CD & send to record label.

Psych rock meets the reggae-tinged stylings of Dance Hall music. Taste the rainbow when King Crimson mixes it up with Yellowman.

Doom Twee
Have your mind blown to the sound of stacks of tube amplifiers blasting the oscillated fuzz of a downtouned bass alongside nasally, effeminate lyrics about anoraks and puppy love. Also know as SunnC86))))

New-Country Electro-Pop
Collaboration between Toby Keith and Kevin Barnes of “Of Montreal” out next Spring entitled “Don’t Tread on My Synaptic Unicorn Sediments”. Look for lots of southern drawl, lap steel, xenophobic lyrics & tons of phat Moog Rogue basslines.

Ambient Free-Jazz
Imagine an Albert Ayler solo slowed down it 1/50th speed…with enough reverb and synth pads to knock out a full-grown elephant on speed.

Imagine Faust meets Reel Big Fish. And then shoot yourself in the face.

Croon Metal
Step aside Atilla-- Harry Connick Jr. is taking over the reigns as the frontman of Mayhem for some Black Pack action.

So.....what are your predictions for future genres?

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